A leaf drifting from the tree.

I wanted to be many people. I want to experience all the shades, tones and variations ever possible in my life. Apparently, I am. All credits to the bus travel, through the same 6 km stretch I pass each day. The travel and the destination might be same each morning and evening, but each day was surprising. One day gave me immense joy looking at the innocent restlessness of  a 14-year old getting late to school. The funny little gestures made me paint a picture of how helpless he felt when the traffic had turned itself into a villain between him and the school teacher, who would listen to no excuse ever made on this planet.

Another day made me realize how I was getting used to the new routine and didn't feel tired anymore. About magically running into a long lost friend and complete the talks where it was last left. About a three dozen people accompanying me on my way back. About the rain gods loving me just right, to pour down heavenly and leave me elated. So far so good.

But today was different. I was presented with a chance of being a different person. Not the happy go lucky, rain-loving or childlike-person but a different extreme. A woman who had faded into an indifferent middle age sat right in front of me. Corporate life, I suppose. All tucked up with a laptop bag, identity card and packed lunch. I smiled at her as I entered. But she wasn't smiling. Nor was she angry. She was weary and her eyes were as dull as a smoky glass. She was on the phone conversing with a sister or friend, as I had assumed by her talks. She blinked heavily, tears fell over her cheeks like a fretful stream over boulders. Those electric tears pierced my morning smile. I had gone to the other extreme. I was not just observing anymore, I was saddened at the extent of her melancholy. 

The rest of the people never reacted. It was as if only I could see her tears. Everybody else continued with whatever they were supposedly doing. Time and again, I looked around hoping people leaped over what they couldn't get through. Or maybe, they had their mind churning, just like I was. But I was pretty sure, they weren't. The whole atmosphere blackened out for me. I waited and waited for her to finish her conversation, so that she would turn her eyes towards me, so that I could tell her, it was okay. Tell whatever bothered her, would pass too. But she had drowned in her pool of disappointment, everything else was insignificant to turn eyes on, at that particular moment.

I had reached my destination. I had to abandon the surrounding. She was speaking to somebody she trusted, she was pouring out her pain, she was crying, she would feel better in a while. All I could do was leave her with a reassuring smile that was to convey that everything would be fine, sooner or later. She blinked yet again, and a huge drop of tear came rushing down. I hope, it was the last one.

And the lump in the throat stuck with me for the rest of the day. So much that I couldn't stop thinking about it. And hence, this post. I hope I see her again, with a smile. I hope people notice. I hope ignorance to this extent doesn't prevail. I hope I continue to be many people..